This is the abbriviated version of my DSL saga:

  • I move into my new condo, which has two phone jacks, both of which ring to the same number.
  • I try to get MCI's local and long distance. They ask if I already have a phone number. I tell them no. They say it will be cheaper and faster to get SBC first and then switch.
  • I install SBC (takes two weeks) with no long distance, because I intend to switch to MCI anyway.
  • After a total of one month without DSL since I moved in, Cyberonic is installed.
  • Cyberonic had support problems, east coast times, no weekend support, and one day of downtime within 5 days of service install, and I am just on the verge of not being close enough, which means that I cannot get maximum speed, but close enough, right?
  • I try to switch my long distance to MCI's Neighborhood plan
  • MCI cancels my long distance request with no reason. I contact them, have them manually check and they state that it is a problem with SBC.
  • I call SBC and they said that it isn't them that is putting the flag on the system, and that I should call MCI.
  • I call MCI again and they find the problem which is that I had to turn off the third party DSL before I could switch, even though Cyberonic resells MCI's service. They are concerned that they (MCI) would do things that they (MCI) would not like. I'll never get that one.
  • I cancel Cyberonic DSL so that I can get MCI long distance, so that I can get MCI DSL. At this point I have no long distance and no DSL. Cyberonic claims the flag will be removed by the following thursday.
  • Two weeks pass, and MCI calls Cyberonic with me on the phone. Cyberonic claims it will be removed within a week.
  • Two weeks later the flag has been removed and MCI turns up my long distance two weeks after that.
  • MCI could not install MCI DSL because I am too far away, despite the fact that they told me previously I was close enough and Cyberonic resells their service, which I already had. They let me know by not sending me anything for two and a half weeks. When I call they are apologetic, but unhelpful. They say that Cyberonic has their own offices and that they do not use the same POPs or DSLAMs, which I find very difficult to believe.
  • I call Cyberonic again, and although I dial their sales department I get their technical support, and after getting my information and saying they needed to get more information they put me on hold for 25 minutes. I hang up.
  • I call Cyberonic again, this time getting their sales department, and they claim that I am not close enough to them, even though I had service with them one month prior.
  • Speakeasy cannot reach me, because I am at 16000'
  • Covad resells to Speakeasy, who can't reach me
  • SBC Yahoo requires that I have local service telephone service with them, and I cannot do that because I need the Neighborhood plan as I make so many calls. I am unwilling to get another phoneline at this point.
  • DSL Extreem lets me sign up, after accidentally breaking their program by typing a "#" in the address field where my condo number would go. After figuring out the problem they let me sign up even though they know that I can't, because I don't have SBC, who apperantly they resell. They don't tell me for one business day. They call me to tell me that they cannot find my number through SBC. I explain that is because I have MCI, and they say that they cannot help me. I tell them that their website did not tell me that was a prerequisite. They responded by telling me that is why they asked me who I have my phone line through. I could kill them.
  • Thinking I will just break down and get another phone line I call SBC again. I have been without DSL for 2 months now. SBC, cannot understand why I want another line, since I can put DSL on this line. I don't have the energy to explain, and tell them to just give me another line. SBC warns me that since I have two jacks but they are both on the same line, it will cost me $120 for them to have the guy come out and switch it. I am defeated, and agree.
  • SBC cannot find my phone number through their automated script, and they cannot find my address over the phone, even though I had phone service with them one month earlier, and I am still within their system, and my condo complex has been around for nearly 30 years. They said they would call back in an hour. When I called back in three hours, they said they would call back in one business day, and that they use actual paper to submit reports so there is no record of what happened to my previous call that was not returned.
  • I call Covad again, now they said they can get DSL at my location, but they only have contracts with 7 phone companies. MCI is not one of them.
  • I call Comcast, and they say broadband will not be availible in my area for another year, despite the fact that it is not distance dependant.
  • SBC calls me back the next non-business day (Saturday) and I say, screw it, I don't care about long distance, just switch me back. I really don't care. They give me another number to call.
  • I call the other number and SBC says that they have a competitive service to MCI's Neighborhood plan that is actually cheaper. I could not be more annoyed, for them not having told me this to begin with. I subscribe to that service and the DSL service. They say it will take two weeks to sign me up to use DSL after the phone has been turned on.
  • Two weeks later I get the equipment for SBC DSL and a phone call telling me it will be set up 4 business days later.
Written in vim, W3C valid and UTF-8 encoded, for her pleasure.
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